No, it’s Thomson!
by ketchupblood
Summary: During a study session at Fuji's, Tezuka... hears a cactus talking to him. No, he's definitely been spending too much time with Fuji. [Tezuka x Fuji] [for Maldita08]


Written by me (ketchup), though the idea is maldita08's.

* * *

I had always wondered why I had been studying over at Fuji's house that day in the first place. It wasn't as if Fuji needed to study. He had, in fact, spent the past three hours talking to his cacti and acting as if they answered back. Listening to them was like listening to one side of a telephone conversation. It had been hard to concentrate, to say the least. 

Not that I'd ever been particularly good at concentrating around Fuji anyways. Really, why was I even there?

As I was studying vectors for the upcoming math test, Fuji asked his cactus (the one he told me was called 'Thomson,' though he didn't tell me why), "Do you think that it's possible for a squirrel to go across the Sea of Japan if there were trees growing there?"

If Fuji was a genius, then he was one of the eccentric breed. I was about to answer him, because at the time I had thought he was asking me, but then he spoke again. "Of course the trees are growing on the water."

Actually, I think 'eccentric' is too light a term. Perhaps 'insane' would be a better way to put it.

"Yes, they can! Squirrels can travel really far!"

The only thought in my mind then was that apparently the cactus thought along the same lines as me. The next thought was that I did not just think that a cactus thought like me.

"No, look, I'll prove I'm right!" Fuji turned to me. "Tezuka, can't squirrels travel all the way across the Sea of Japan if there were trees there for them to jump on?"

"Aniki!" Yuuta, who had apparently just come home, was glaring at his brother. "What did you do to my room?!"

I was, personally, thankful that I didn't have to answer Fuji's question. I wasn't sure what I would have said.

"I was just cleaning it."

"_Everything_ is gone!"

"It was tainted. That's what you get for inviting rats over."

"Aniki, my room is _empty_." Yuuta frowned, realizing his aniki had just insulted someone—I suspected Mizuki. "Mizuki is _not_ a rat."

I was right.

"Of course not." Fuji waved his hand dismissively. "Just a—"

"Aniki! Where did you put everything?!"

"Yuuta, you can't take it back. I told you already, it's _contaminated_!" Fuji made some sort of hand motion to illustrate his point and I couldn't help but let my eyes follow his hands.

Apparently their mother had just come home too, and apparently they had done something or another that warranted a parental scolding, because she shouted, "Syuusuke! Yuuta! Come down here, _right now_," sounding rather angry. I could imagine Fuji doing something, but not Yuuta, really. He wasn't even home half the time, from what Fuji told me.

They both went down obediently (Fuji had told me once that nothing was scarier than his mother when she was angry, and I had supposed that that was where Fuji got it from) and I tried to study again, though I could hear Fuji-san scolding both boys about how to behave when guests (me, I suppose, though I had gone over too often for either brother to see me as a 'guest') came over.

_Hey, you should tell him how you feel._

I started, because the voice did not belong to Fuji, Yuuta, or their mother. Looking around, though, I didn't see anyone and I assumed that it was my imagination. Yes, for all you reading this, I do have one. I often find it better not to indulge in it, though, for exactly this reason.

_Hey! Listen to me!_

I didn't start the second time, but I did look around the room again.

_I'm right here._

The voice seemed to be coming from... a cactus. The one Fuji had been talking to earlier. I nearly fainted, but my self control apparently managed to prevent that.

"Th-thomas?"

_No, it's Thomson! Get it right, stupid human._

I approached it slowly. Really, I must have been spending too much time with Fuji, to be hearing his cactus talk. "Err..."

_He already knows how you feel, you know._

I stared, really hoping that Thomson was lying. A pit was forming in the bottom of my stomach, because I knew that if Fuji told anyone everything that he ever knew, it would be Thomson. Or some other of his cacti. Though Thomson might have overheard?

I really needed to get away from Fuji sometime.

_It would be hard for anyone to miss it. You stare at him whenever he's in staring distance and you almost always jump a little when he touches you._

I wondered if the cactus had actually figured out by himself.

_Yes, I did figure it out first. I told him, even._

I was going to kill that cactus. I was pondering the best way to commit cacticide when Fuji returned, wearing a smile that was not at all apologetic. "My mom says I need to apologize for Yuuta and my behaviour. Sorry, Tezuka."

I nodded. "Ah. It was no problem."

_Tell him, now!_

I wondered if Fuji could hear the cactus when it talked to me. Perhaps... not?

"Well, Tezuka?" Shoot. He could hear the cactus. I silently willed Thomson to silence.

"Hmm?" Maybe if I pretend I can't hear it...

"The squirrel, remember?"

Oh. That. I gave an inner sigh of relief. "Err... I suppose it could go across the sea if it had enough trees..."

"See, Thomson?! I was right! Even Tezuka said so!"

_Come on, you won't have to hide it anymore. Besides..._

"No, I don't think that Tezuka is lying. Tezuka doesn't know how to lie!"

_...he likes you too._

So apparently, not only could the cactus keep Fuji from hear what it said to me, but it could also carry on two conversations at once. This didn't surprise me. If a cactus could talk to one person, why not two? Heck, it was a _talking cactus_. I wouldn't have been surprised if it could fly.

And then what the cactus _said_ sank in. Wait... Fuji likes me too? Really? I could feel my heart jumping with joy and the butterflies that were always in my stomach (or at least, in my stomach whenever Fuji was in a ten feet radius of me) multiplied. I must have blushed or something, because Fuji was staring at me oddly. He muttered something under his breath that I couldn't quite catch, but it did sound like "Inui is dead tomorrow."

He started walking out the door, saying something about his backpack—which was right on the floor, next to his desk, which was, in fact, in his room—and I got up and wrapped my arms around him. "I like you, Fuji."

He gulped, and I got the sudden realization that the cactus might have lied to me. Certainly it could have.

"Really?" Fuji's voice sounded so small.

I nodded, knowing that he could feel it, not saying anything because I had apparently lost my voice.

"Hah..." He started laughing and turned around and put his arms around mine. "I really like you too."

We stood like that for a while before he broke the silence. "I'm still going to kill Inui, though."

I was going to ask him why when the data master himself walked into the room with a small... walkie talkie... in his hand. "I told you already, Fuji, this had a 89.4 percent chance of success. And it worked, didn't it?"

I stared at Inui, then stared at Fuji, who was burying his face in my chest and muttering, "You're dead, Inui."

"No worries, I'll leave you two alone. I just wanted my other walkie talkie back."

He walked to Thomson, who had been strangely quiet after I confessed and from behind the cactus he pulled out a second walkie talkie. All of a sudden, I felt very stupid and in utter agreement with Fuji. Inui was going to die.

I suppose that, to be fair, I would have to punish Fuji for his own part in this, but I wasn't feeling particularly fair right then.

"Inui, fifty laps tomorrow."

"Whatever you say, Tezuka. I left some condoms for you two in the top left drawer." He pointed to Fuji's desk. "Have a nice night."

Then he walked out and I stared at Fuji and he stared at me and we nodded. Inui was dead tomorrow.


End file.
